ahh times a billon

once again i find myself not being able to sleep... its quite normal to me now.

anyway i've had quite an interesting day...
i felt as if i was going to die...
my whole body ached or maybe was soar so i've been going to the gym. i know it's a miracle i haven't been to the gym in years. i kept getting the chills.and to top it all off i've also have had a runny nose for a week now.(no fun) this was all day at work.

so then i got home from work thought a shower would help me feel better. okay some might think a bath would feel better.. but i've never liked them. the thought of one sitting in ones filth, ewe. it can't be too clean..i don't know.. it's not appealing to me at all... for some reason it weirds me out when guys like baths. i don't know.. just weird. but yeah the hot shower helped i felt a lot better. then i get a text from my dear friend inviting me to go to a movie with her and her fiance and she suggested that i invite my ex. i being apprehensive, not really wanting to. this boy broke my heart okay. i didn't really want to see him.. even though we still talk every now and then. but he and my friends fiance have a bromance going on. they love each other i swear. so i thought okay.. might as well invite him he probably won't come anyway. i don't hate him.. it wouldn't hurt.. any way ex says yes to the offer... wow i'm already getting sick of writing... so i'll shorten it. meet up at friends, awkward hello. leave to movies i was supposed to drive. yet ex offered.. ex drove friend makes me sit in passenger seat. still a little awkward... i make thing awkward...anyway watched the movie. friend left with fiance since we met him there. drove back with ex. not much talking. ex says "i want to talk." i've come to the conclusion i really don't like those words. so we talked... ex wants to get back together... okay i can be quite stubborn at times. i can't go back to someone i can't fully believe in, in a heartbeat. i need my time i move slow. very slow to be exact. ask anyone that knows me. so i'm baffled... mixed feelings. ex might be reading this.. i don't know. all and all i need time to think things though we can still be friends. if you can't deal with that at the moment then you really don't want me. that's the way i look at it.

anyway strange day. this by far is the most random post that i've ever posted. i don't give out daily personal stories to people really. yup i think im done writing now. buh bye.