realizing

i get a sad
sinking feeling

do you realize

flaming lips

let me know that life goes fast
but i realize that you have the most beautiful face

a void

do you ever wake up in the morning feeling empty
breathing feels (use)less
AIR
just passes through your lungs

deep breaths leave you
L o n g i n g
for more of what you cant have

yet you still wake up and smile and push through the day
tears have all vanished and
replaced with fears

D
O
U
B
T

just a void

this emptiness bring
something that i love and miss

CREATIVITY n DRIVE

it makes me want to brake past this destitution
and prove that
i am more
than
The Hollow Men

crushed

‘cause lately I’ve been feeling lonely
I just long for someone to hold me
and tell me, “Baby everything’s going to be alright,
now that I’m by your side.”

Sigh..

I know what I ask for isn’t much
but I still find myself buried beneath a silly crush
then I remember you told me; that this will never be enough.

Done

these are my hands
my lips
i may be skin and bone
here i stand the same
the woman i have always been

alone
still alone

embraced in cold
showered by calamity kisses

i don't like to kiss
it hurts to much
my heart it races
my breath taken
from my lungs

i am done

i've attempted
a simple attempt
not to fall

i've failed

like Alice
i too fell,
down the rabbit hole

only to find myself..
alone

blue above

So just as a side note: this poem is random, I made it for my niece about a year ago. She compiled a bunch of words that reminded he of grass ( strange hu?) but then I threw this poem together, with her words . I love the randomness of it. Hope you like.

blue above

green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

rolling down the hills
ouch, how my sunburn kills
weeds and trees
some strange reason make me sneeze
i hate grass down my shirt
paper thin slices hurt

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

dreaming of drinking some tea
with Buddha in a tree
we could fly into the sky
nirvana twinkling in my eye
stars sprinkle down
and turn my frown upside down

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

somewhere Bambi trips
in the darkness of a lunar eclipse
fog rolls on the mountain side
the thought of wormies make me hide
dancing around mushroom circles and daisy train
is a way i pray for rain

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

at night i can hear the dinosaurs cry
it always brings a tear to my eye
just to think of them buried below
funny how now they help my car go
under the rainbow, theres a pot of gold
where all the secrets lye untold

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

lets hide under my tree
and tell stories of how the world can be
they say rock n roll is dead
but it still lives on in my head
i want the world to see
how easy life can be

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

Faux

the vastness of this darkness
devouring of souls
the torment
and agony of being alone
thoughts that flow..



like kisses from lovers lips
eyes closed so tight
that the truth may be concealed
lovers that i never truly loved
flowed through me,
like the ink in this pen
only leaving gaps
in the spaces
where you and i should be



but yet i find contentment
in my own torment
i smile
i laugh
no, this is no faux
reality is my actuality
this emptiness is mine
my heart has deceived
and been deceived
repetitively
i no longer trust it
nor my thoughts


i am now a drifter
like the breeze
slipping in and out
of reality
there are no drugs
to thank for this relapse
i've found a new addiction
and it doesn't leave a track
i get my fix from a love
a love that isn't real

Untitled Works

Untiled
Acrylic and Gesso on Canvas


I can't ever seem to get things right or ever finished. My head never fully works that way. I have so many unfinished poems and paintings its insane.
Here is and unfinished crap poem..

Bit lips
Held tongues
Thoughts compressed
Words that don’t seem to express

Emptiness

Bright eyes
Open mind
Creativity composed
Thin lines on paper faded

Jaded



In limbo