in love with darling Nicki

This is dedicated to the original Hippie in Heels..
My dearest Nicki. She is now 21 today. She radiates such a lovely glow and energy. She is loving and kind. She has a gold and silver aura. With two angles looking out for here. he he. I normally don't love girls, but I love you much girl. Happy birthday darling. We love you very very very very very very very much.

in order to find yourself, are you willing to lose yourself?

an emo girl

as i was leaving work today,walking through the parking lot to get to my car. There was a vehicle filled with young men. As I was passing this vehicle, one of the young men inside the car said to the driver, " Don't hit the emo girl." This got me to thinking, I'm I an "emo girl"?... What the hell is an "emo" anyway? I never thought my self as being "emo". Maybe it was my black high heels,black tights, black and white high waisted checkered skirt, black tank and cardigan. With my dark short hair, Bam.. I'm now emo. This event made me laugh, so did the time I was mistaken for a gay boy at a club, but that's another story.

It also reminded me of this:
while perusing through one of my favorite magazines . I found the cover story quite intriguing. here's the link.
Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization
Anyway this post is about stereotyping/ labeling.. we all do it. I try not to, but I find myself doing it anyway. Just the other day I labeled two girls as being air-heads. Their conversation about the Haunted Forest attraction in American Fork possibly being real and their high pitched "valley girl" talk is what validated it for me. I'm rude but they were dumb. Why do we tend to do this, is it a sad pathetic attempt to make us feel better about ourselves? I really don't care what other people label me. So instead of using labels such as: Hipster, Punk, Nerd, Bitch, Air-head, Bro's,Emo etc. The list goes on and on. The only label we should use is our name. I am me.. I am Lesly. Its who I am and have always been.

golden

some polaroids taken at silver lake with my loves.

Done

these are my hands
my lips
i may be skin and bone
here i stand the same
the woman i have always been

alone
still alone

embraced in cold
showered by calamity kisses

i don't like to kiss
it hurts to much
my heart it races
my breath taken
from my lungs

i am done

i've attempted
a simple attempt
not to fall

i've failed

like Alice
i too fell,
down the rabbit hole

only to find myself..
alone

when was the last time you did something for the first time?

just a little something new im going to start.
ask questions and live into the answers.

sorry blog

Dear blog,

i'm so very sorry!
so i'm making a change.i've made you so boring, its no fun.i never meant to neglect you. i just never knew what to say. but now i feel inspired. i will make you better than ever,as soon as i learn how, i will get pictures up more often. (remind me i need a new camera) anyway im going to be a better blogger.
i'm sorry.

Lesly

it

so I've been tagged once again by jack.
there are no specific rules to this, so i'm just going to answer them like i would answer any normal question.


whats missing from my life? more action.
will I find love? we are all beings capable of love. the question is, will love find me?
will i be rich? i don't talk money.
does someone have a crush on me? i doubt it.
whats my favorite sexual position? umm...
am i good looking? on my good days, a little.
what makes me most happy? family and friends, that i love and love me in return.
what is my biggest regret? never regret.
how will i die? when i am old and gray peacefully in my bed.
do i act my age? depends on my mood.
what type of tattoo should i get? a bad ass one.. possibly " Bad Ass" on my ass.
whats my spirit animal? an eagle, or a brontosaurus.
do i like pain? i love pain, makes me feel alive.
is there anyone else like me out there? i'd feel bad for anyone who is like me.
do i love to party? depends on the type and the company.
where should i move to? any where near the ocean.
am i secretly gay? maybe so.. its a secret.
will i ever be president? ha ha.. never.
what is fun for me? lots of things, i'm easily entertained.
will i ever learn to fly? in my dreams.
whats my super power? sadly,i make people fall asleep.
what can i do to move on? just breathe.


so i'm the little fat kid who gets tagged because their to slow, and can't tag anyone else. then gives up all hope, sits on the grass and cry's.

i'm sitting on the grass right now, just remembering to breathe.

a girl

new portrait
14 x 18
acrylic on canvas

detail
Sorry poor photo quality

blue above

So just as a side note: this poem is random, I made it for my niece about a year ago. She compiled a bunch of words that reminded he of grass ( strange hu?) but then I threw this poem together, with her words . I love the randomness of it. Hope you like.

blue above

green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

rolling down the hills
ouch, how my sunburn kills
weeds and trees
some strange reason make me sneeze
i hate grass down my shirt
paper thin slices hurt

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

dreaming of drinking some tea
with Buddha in a tree
we could fly into the sky
nirvana twinkling in my eye
stars sprinkle down
and turn my frown upside down

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

somewhere Bambi trips
in the darkness of a lunar eclipse
fog rolls on the mountain side
the thought of wormies make me hide
dancing around mushroom circles and daisy train
is a way i pray for rain

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

at night i can hear the dinosaurs cry
it always brings a tear to my eye
just to think of them buried below
funny how now they help my car go
under the rainbow, theres a pot of gold
where all the secrets lye untold

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below

lets hide under my tree
and tell stories of how the world can be
they say rock n roll is dead
but it still lives on in my head
i want the world to see
how easy life can be

blue above
green at my feet
orange dead dirt below